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För att göra innehållet personligare, anpassa och mäta annonser och erbjuda en säkrare användarupplevelse använder vi cookies.Genom att klicka eller navigera på webbplatsen godkänner du att vi använder cookies för att samla information på och utanför Facebook.GRAND BLANC, MI—In updates that reportedly were becoming both increasingly frequent and less interesting with every new addition, local woman Kate Morris was now just typing her 4-year-old child’s every word verbatim throughout the day as Facebook posts, sources said Thursday.CHICAGO—Saying that he alone could determine the legitimacy the woman’s claim, area man Luke Haggerty will be the judge of whether coworker Delia Carroll is actually a true baseball fan, sources confirmed Wednesday.GRANVILLE, OH—Convening at their hometown bar to grab a drink and catch up on things, a group of old high school friends reportedly met up on Thursday as per their yearly tradition of saying the names of their former classmates.HARRISBURG, PA—Confirming that several dozen individuals have had the title bestowed upon them in recent years, sources reported Friday that the Weber family has exceptionally lax standards for who gets to be called “aunt.” LOS ANGELES—Having rehearsed the script for several hours before giving what he believed was a solid audition, local actor Mark Folta was reportedly disappointed to be informed Friday that he just doesn’t have that Prego tomato sauce look.
SEATTLE—According to a survey conducted Friday of Americans visiting scenic waterways across the nation, 97 percent of individuals currently floating down a lazy, winding river in an inflatable rubber tube agreed that it doesn’t get any better than this. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
NUTLEY, NJ—Recounting the participants’ unwavering, single-minded focus throughout the three-hour event, local man Ross Harrison, who declined to join his friends’ fantasy football league, told reporters Friday he immediately regretted attending their draft party last night.